Rootless or ruthless?
Updated: Dec 13, 2019
Denmark - Rhode Island - Massachusetts - Denmark - Paris - Denmark - Paris - Scotland - Paris - Scotland - Paris... And that's where I am for now, for the summer before I move to Seoul.
One of the side effects of moving country is that you never have one or two people that are always there for you physically. Don't get me wrong - I have the most amazing and supportive friends and family who exist on this plant. I've been really blessed having the kinds of relationships where I don't see most people for months sometimes years but when I do it feels like we haven't even been apart.
The nomad lifestyle has also gifted me with numerous international relationships meaning always having free places to stay and a reasons to travel, which I certainly have taken advantage off in the past.
However, being a wanderer means never having that same person you can always confide in. The person that knows the full story and knows the full you. Of course, there's always the option of calling someone but once in a while we all need someone who's physically present.
Additionally no one walks my path. I learn and grow from the environment I'm in. When I return to friends physically and mentally in the same place I'm all of sudden the outsider. It feels like I have grown years, in just a few months being away. I think everyone who's moved away from their hometowns can recognise this feeling of displacement.
Because I primarily have long distance relationships I tend to deal with my own emotions. No person has been around to know the background story. It's often easier to overcome challenges independently without hours of explanation years of details.
Last year my friend told me that she felt like I had 'strong independent women'-syndrom. She explained to me that she sees how I have a hard time telling my friends when I actually am in need of a friend. I tried to keep my "strong independent women"-facade but I had to agree with her.
I gave it a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that not having had stability in my friendships for five years, has caused me to prefer to handle things on my own, because often I've had to.
The nomad lifestyle is my choice. One I'm more than grateful for and wouldn't change for anything in the world. The relationship thing is a minor side effect however something I will consider more thoroughly going into my 6th year of roaming..